After a divorce, many parents worry about several key issues:
A) “What if the money I leave for my children is misused by the surviving ex-spouse?”
B) “Will my money end up with my surviving ex-spouse?”
C) “Will my money be controlled by my surviving ex-spouse?”
Emotional strain, unresolved resentment, and financial pressure can complicate matters long after a divorce is finalised. Ex-spouse remarrying or forming a new family will also create significant uncertainty for the care and priority of their children.
This article shall also discuss the important considerations in estate planning for such scenarios.
Who should I Will my monies to if I want my children to benefit from the monies?
The answer may seem straight forward, which is to Will the monies to their children. However, due to the divorce, the divorcee will take the above 3 (A to C) questions in mind and decide otherwise to avoid the issues listed above.
Here are the typical choices divorcee parents will consider after considering the above:
- Will to their Parents
- Will to their Siblings
- Will to their new current spouse (since I trust her/him for the rest of my life)
- Will to their Children, and appointing their parents or siblings as Guardians
- Will to their Children, and appointing their parents or siblings as Trustee
While all the above solutions seem reasonable risk mitigation solutions in the eyes of the testator, these solutions are fraught with even more pitfalls and challenges practically.
For Options (1) to (3), such testators believes that if the monies legally belong to other parties (their loved ones) then they avoid the situations. They “trust” their loved ones and hence draft their Will as such. They believe their named love ones will start gifting to their children by their own accord, as and when necessary. And legally the ex-spouse has no grounds to interfere with the gifts as well as demand or requests for monies since these monies are no longer connected to the children.
The testator should understand that when they draft a Will as such, their monies will be out of their control. The following scenarios can happen and create significant distress to the children and families involved.
D) The Beneficiary (Parents, Siblings, New Spouse) dies. Now the monies fall under the estate of the Beneficiary and the monies will flow out and no longer belong to the deceased’s children. For example, the divorcee X Will their assets to their father, and verbally told the parents to use the monies to take care of their children. Then shortly after the divorcee X died, the elderly Father also died, but without a Will. So, the divorcee X’s monies are now distributed to their siblings, not their children!
There is no legal recourse except appealing to the good sense of the siblings. This is the part where the ex-spouse may tell the children: “Your Uncles and Aunties took your Mum’s monies!!!”
E) The Beneficiary (Siblings or New Spouse) may divorce. Since the monies are Willed to them, it can be considered as part of the beneficiary assets meant for distribution under the divorce proceedings. “Your Uncle let his ex-wife take your Mum’s monies!!!”
F) The Beneficiary may be bankrupted or misuses the monies. As the monies are part of the beneficiaries’ assets, there are no legal recourse for the divorcee’s children.
“Your Uncle lost your Mum’s monies in his business!!!”
“Your Aunt bought a new car for herself using your dad’s monies!”
History is filled with cases of misuse or unfortunate turn of events that left the children in emotional turmoil.
Let us discuss (4) above. Referring to our first article on this topic, the divorcee X can appoint their loved ones as joint guardian with the surviving ex-spouse. The Women’s Charter 1961 Section s70 (8) states that guardians have the legal duty to maintain the child. Hence if the deceased divorcee X appointed their siblings to be the joint guardian, then the siblings have a legal duty to provide for the child. Hence there must be provision in the Will to maintain the child using the Estate monies. Otherwise, the guardians appointed will not have access to the monies.
In our previous article, we also shared the role of guardians appointed is different from the role of the trustee managing the monies while the children are too young (below 21 years old). The role of the trustee is to handle the monies left for the children, while the primary role of the guardians is the care of the children’s welfare like studies and daily activities.
Why Trustees Matter Even More After Divorce
A trustee manages and distributes money left for children according to the Will.
For divorced families, trustees often need to:
- Communicate with an ex-spouse over many years
- Apply discretion fairly and consistently
- Resist emotional or unreasonable financial demands
This is not always easy for individual family members. Hence by appointing your loved ones to be responsible to deal with your ex-spouse after your death, your loved ones like your siblings will have to ascertain if the request for the monies are genuine.
“Your Uncle/Aunt has taken your Mum/Dad’s Monies! They refuse to pay for your trip to Japan!”
“Your Uncle/Aunt bought a new car but will not release your Mum/Dad’s monies for your Chinese New Year!”
If the divorcee already has difficulty dealing with their ex-spouse during their lifetime, why would their siblings find it any easier to deal with the divorcee’s ex-spouse?
The Risk of Releasing Funds Too Early
By default, children can inherit remaining estate monies at age 21 if the Will does not specify otherwise.
While legally an adult, a 21-year-old may still:
- Be financially inexperienced
- Be living with the surviving parent
- Face emotional pressure to hand over money
This can place enormous stress on young beneficiaries. The ex-spouse may consistently demand that the child hand over the monies they inherited over to them for “safe keeping”. There will be genuine concerns of young persons handling large amounts of monies, there is also the strong possibility that the ex-spouse will have control of these monies.
“Give me the monies your Mum left behind for you or get out of the house!”
Smarter Alternatives to a Lump-Sum Inheritance
Instead of releasing money outright at 21, a Will can:
- Delay distribution to a later age or in stages. E.g. age 30 or 50% after the child reaches 30 years old.
- Release funds upon milestones (e.g. graduation, first property)
- Allow trustees to pay expenses directly rather than giving cash
This reduces both financial risk and family tension.
Should the Estate Pay for All Child Expenses?
Not necessarily.
In modern families, expenses are often shared during the parent’s lifetime. Such oligation continue even after death. Hence a Will can and should clearly define:
- Which expenses the estate covers
- The percentage contribution (e.g. 50% of enrichment classes)
- What the estate will not pay for
Clarity prevents disputes and protects trustees from unreasonable demands from the ex-spouse for monies.
“The Estate MUST PAY for the whole cost of this BMW since the children sits in them!”
What If a Parent Leaves Nothing to the Child?
Even if a Will does not provide for a child:
- The surviving parent or guardian may still apply to court for maintenance
- Courts can order the estate to provide reasonable support
This means ignoring children in estate planning rarely works as intended.
Table 1: Trustee & Trust Concepts Explained
| Term | Explanation | ||
|---|---|---|---|
|
Trustee |
Manages and distributes trust assets |
||
|
Beneficiary |
Person who benefits from the trust |
||
|
Maintenance |
Day-to-day living expenses |
||
|
Discretionary Powers |
Trustee’s authority to decide payments |
||
|
Milestone Distribution |
Releasing funds upon specific events |
||
Table 2: Common Trustee's Responsibility After Divorcee's Demise
| Scenario | Explanation | ||
|---|---|---|---|
|
Ex-Spouse demands monies |
Ascertain authenticity of request (calmly) |
||
|
Ex-spouse wants Estate to pay full share |
To determine % share of expenses (which can even be zero) |
||
|
Transfer of monies |
Arrange for reimbursement or payment to 3rd party |
||
|
Monitor life stages |
Gifts to child at relevant milestones |
||
|
End of Trust |
To distribute remaining assets or transfer of property titles at end of Trust |
||
Final Thought
Estate planning for divorcees is not about control — it is about protection.
A properly drafted Will with:
- Clear trust instructions
- Thoughtful trustee selection
- Realistic expense guidelines
can shield children from conflict, pressure, and financial mistakes — even years after a parent is gone.
Looking for Estate Planning advice? You can contact Eliss here.
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